Marathon

For the past few months I have been training for a marathon. My sister Beth and my brother Drew are coming up to do the Seattle Rock and Roll marathon with me in June. I have been running my whole life, and I love running. I have been struggling the past few weeks. I just am so sick of running I have to talk myself into it every day. I think it feels like a chore now because I have set distances that I have to do every day. I feel like any free time I have I have to go running. I really only have one more really long run, and I just need to push through this. I have a 20 miler in a week. I have improved a lot and I am amazed at the fact that I have been able to do this. My goal when I started was just to finish, I don't care how much I have to walk, I just need to finish. Every time a run now I am always watching my time and trying to go faster. I ran my 15 miler in 2 1/2 hours and my 16 miler in 2 hours and 40 minutes. Also this is not flat nice weather running. This hills are killer around here and a lot of my running has been in continuous cold downpours. I ran 9 miles this week in 1 hour and 17 minutes. I know for some people this isn't fast but for me it is. Than there are my bad days. On my first 16 miler I had to call Chase and have him come pick me up at mile 12 I could not take another step. Last week I was supposed to do 18. I decided to take Emma along in the jogging stroller. HORRIBLE IDEA! It was windy and the course was hilly and it was far. I felt like I was pushing a parachute. An extra 30 lbs. on a long run is a killer. I only made 16 miles and at 13 I was walking and had to talk myself through every step I was in so much pain. I said a prayer that I could just get home, or that someone would drive by and give me a ride. At about mile 14 my brother Drew called and talked to me until I got home. It was an answer to my prayer. I just wanted to sit down and not move. It took me 3 1/2 hours (slow) I learned I can't go that far with a stroller. Through all of this I have learned I can do more than I think. At the beginning of each run I think there is no way I can do this. At the end of each run I am so proud of myself that I could and did. I have lost 2 toe nails and a third is starting to hurt.I have blisters and calluses all over my feet. My hips and tail bone ache and at the end of my long runs hurt so bad that I can hardly move. I don't know how people do these all of the time. I can't wait until I am done and right now I am saying I will never do this again. I want to go back to my leisurely running. Wish me luck, my race is June 28th. I am so excited to have Beth and Drew here. They are really fast runners so I will probably just see them at the starting line.